


I think it's finally safe... (for me to fall)

by thorshield



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Season 3x18 coda, Team as Family, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24207094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorshield/pseuds/thorshield
Summary: He let his mind wander back to one person that was always there for him, that after his fuck ups and his flaws was still there by his side no matter what.The one person who always had his back,Eddie.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 323





	I think it's finally safe... (for me to fall)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in the fandom just... be gentle with me 🥺
> 
> Also this is a present to someone very very very special to me. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Was also very inspired by Finally / beautiful stranger by Halsey and Lose You to Love Me by Selena Gomez.

The moment he sees Abby his world stopped for what seemed like forever, and it was only just mere seconds, he tried stopping her with no avail she was yelling for her fiancé, a six letter word that made him feel as if he was the one who got ran over. 

It wasn't surprising that she had found someone else but she was engaged to the person, engaged to marry, to spend the rest of her life with them.

He felt a tortuous pain in his chest and he didn't know what it was exactly.

He knew he had moved on, he had moved on the moment he finally realized she was never coming back but he had never really let go. 

Maybe 'cause somewhere deep down in his heart he hoped she would come back for him, back to what they had but that never happened; them meeting again was an absolute train wreck in every sense. 

He felt so many different emotions bubbling inside of him; 

Anger. 

After all this time that was how they had to meet.

Surprise.

Buck never thought he would ever meet Abby again, not after he stopped checking on her since everything ended. 

and an uncomfortable feeling of being lost in what was a sea of nostalgia that was filling him, because that's when his brain decided to flood brain with vivid memories of what they had...

*~

It's not like he didn't notice how Eddie glanced between him and Abby, like her presence alone annoyed him, or the way the way he could tell how his voice was laced with jealousy when he had told Bobby that the promise he made was to his fiancée, Abby.

In different circumstances he would've teased him about it and maybe even hinted at him wanting more, but there were lives at stake here and no time for sentiments, even though if was what got him into the situation, where he wanted to safe both people, in the first place. 

Being several feet from the ground trying his best to cut through the steel of the train to get Sam out, Buck knew how dangerous it was, but that was just a part of the job, save the more lives that he could.

When his feet touched the floor he was hit with a wave of relief washing over him as not only he did help save both Sam and the girl, but being okay himself. 

He jogged towards where Sam was being transported into one of the trucks, and Abby was there, eyes filled with a mix of alleviation, gratefulness and fascination. 

Almost like the first time she watched him on the field being selfless, but only this time her feelings and complete adoration where towards someone else.

She was thanking him, it wasn't a shallow 'thank you' said out of desperation, Buck could tell that she meant it; that despite everything that happened he brought back to her the one person that she loved the most. 

"You're Buck?" He asks surprised to finally able pin the name to an actual face, and that also being the man who saved him from what looked like certain death.

"Good to meet you, Sam." Buck says trying his best to put on a smile on, that he knew looked strained and forced on his face.

He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the couple as they got into the truck, this time he knew she was never coming back. 

Maybe part of him did get some rest, after seeing her and making peace with himself that the woman he once loved with every fiber of his being was now happy with someone else.

But yet he couldn't help that part of him that asked 'Why?' 

So many things he wanted to ask, so many answers he longed for.

He didn't realize how long he was holding his breath 'til he let out a sigh.

He didn't dwell in those thoughts much, as Eddie was next to him asking; 

"You okay?" 

He didn't know, if he was being honest with himself. He knew part of him was at ease that finally he got something close to the closure he deserved, but he was far from okay especially right in the moment his mind and heart were filled with different and very conflicting emotions.

With Eddie there though, he felt a sense of reassurance. Abby was gone, hell that might've also been the last time he'd ever saw her, but Eddie was there. 

Eddie always had his back no matter what. 

He pushed everything aside because no matter what people were out there that needed his help, he could think about how he felt later.

"What's next?" He said as he ran back towards the site if incident. 

~*

He had unexpectedly gotten a message from an unknown number that morning, which he later found out was Abby's asking him to meet up and he accepted. 

They met and they talked, she thanked him again for saving Sam and apologized for the way he found out about everything. 

All Buck could feel in that moment was anger, it was unlikely of him to give into it so easily, or at all, because he waited for her for months, he spent his time loving someone who he never knew if she was going to come back, someone who had long forgotten their relationship without bidding her proper goodbyes. 

Buck would've never tied her down to him, no he was too selfless and loved her way more than he should've; that's why he let her go in the first place trusting that she would come back for him. 

After letting it all out, asking when she knew she was never coming back and listening to what she had to say 

"-but I didn't trust myself..." 

"Because being here, being with me you might lose yourself again..." 

"...yeah." She said softly, merely above a whisper. 

"I'm- glad to see you happy Abby, you deserve it." He replied. 

They sit in silence for a few seconds and Buck exhales, he takes in everything he was told and something in him finally eases. He knows what that is; closure. 

His well deserved closure, and it might've seemed stupid; maybe it was but for the longest he thought that letting go of her, of what they had, what they were would be hard with a heavy feeling setting in the pit of his stomach and a void in his heart that he felt like he couldn't fill but it felt nothing like that. 

Instead it was freeing, it was liberating; something he hasn't quite felt in a long time.

It took him a while but he now understood the beauty in letting go. 

Because despite taking so long to realize, the space Abby once had in his heart was long replaced by someone else. 

He let his mind wander back to one person that was always there for him, that after his fuck ups and his flaws was still there by his side no matter what. 

The one person who always had his back, Eddie. 

*~ 

It was May's graduation party at Bobby and Athena's place, and everyone were dancing, laughing and just having a good time in general. 

He apologized to Bobby for what he had said in the train, because despite the heat of the moment it was insensitive of him to say that. 

The man looked at him like a son and he cared for the man like a father, and he wasn't going to lose his affection over his own poor choices of words. 

Surprisingly the man understood how he felt and he knew Buck didn't mean to hurt with the words that came out of his mouth

"You doing okay?" He asks smiling at the younger and Buck couldn't help the smile that crept on his face. 

He was doing okay, in fact he was doing more than okay actually, he just needed to do one more thing. 

"Yeah, I think I am." He said giving Bobby a genuine smile. 

He looked out just to see Eddie, who lowered himself to be as the same height as Chris, talking to his son and smiling at him before he was off to play with Denny and Harry. 

There wasn't gonna be a time where seeing Eddie taking care of his son, just being the most adorable father and son duo ever, wouldn't melt his heart; and he just wanted that everyday. 

He wanted to be able to look at Eddie's chocolate brown eyes and never get tired of the way they softened up whenever he was talking about or was around Chris. 

The way he cared for the people around him maybe even too much sometimes, he wanted undoubted affection from him. 

He just wanted Eddie.

"You should talk to him." Bobby said encouragingly, and before he knew it his feet were already moving towards the man. 

As soon as Eddie saw him he sent a smile his way, a smile that made him weak to his knees every damn time. 

Buck smiled back knowing his face were already tinted pink but he didn't care, it was now or never.

"Hey." 

"Hey you." Eddie said nudging at Buck with his elbow. 

"So about yesterday..." Buck inquired 

"What about yesterday?" Eddie asked 

"Abby and the way you threw me under the bus with Bobby because of how you felt?" The blond said teasing pretty sure he could see Eddie's cheeks turning slightly red. 

"Not sure I get what you're trying to say." 

Eddie was a lot of things, but dumb wasn't one of those. He knew exactly what his best friend was trying to say, but he didn't want their relationship to change especially not if was going to ruin what they currently had.

But what did they currently have exactly?

"I do, and I finally realized what I feel for you." Buck said taking in a deep breath. 

"See the thing is that when I was with Abby I was still struggling to find myself, and she helped with that, I was more than just meaningless sex. With you? I feel like a better version of myself, I feel whole, I feel safe, and it feels like home." 

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I know that after this our friendship is going to change bu-" 

"Buck..." Eddie called out abruptly interrupting Buck's rambling, cupping his cheeks between his hands.

The moment Eddie's lips come crashing into his, everything around him fades away, there's nothing but them in that moment. 

Nothing but Eddie's soft lips on his, everything felt like it was rightfully falling into place, everything had led them right there, right in that moment he knew he was safe for him to fall in love again. 

It was nothing like the painful waiting and excruciating silence with Abby, it was the placidity and the absolute sense of belonging that came from just being in the same space as the other man.

"Of course our relationship is going to change, pretty sure Christopher will love having you around more." Eddie said chuckling brushing the pads of his fingers over the blond's rosy cheeks. 

"You act as if I'm not always at your place." He said smirking, with arms draping over his now boyfriend's shoulders. 

"Idiota." Eddie said laughing at Buck's antics.

"But I'm yours now." Buck said merely above a whisper, like a sacred promise, almost so imperceptible, that if Eddie hadn't paid enough attention he wouldn't have heard him, but he did and he smiled.

It wasn't long after they were reminded of where they were by someone coughing, and that specific person being Athena.

"I see you two finally got to it. Good for you." She said pointing at the two of them.

"You guys weren't exactly subtle, and Eddie your kid is telling Denny and the rest that his Dad finally kissed his Bucky." Hen said as she smiled at them. 

"Too bad Chim and Maddie aren't here to tease you guys." 

"Why? What happened?" Buck asked worried about his sister having to leave all so suddenly. 

"Nothing bad, he just said Maddie wasn't feeling too good." Hen said. 

"Thinking about it now she did tell me couple days ago that she wasn't feeling fine but I thought she went to the doctor's." 

He recalled the time he went over to his sister's place and she complained about not feeling all that well, and trying to reassure her brother saying she probably ate something she shouldn't have.

"We'll call her later so you won't worry too much, okay?" Eddie wrapping his hands protectively around his lover's waist to comfort him, and it was that simple between them.

"Okay." Buck said resting his head on Eddie's shoulder. 

"You guys are disgustingly cute and I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet." Hen said making all of them laugh. 

Yeah, it was this simple. 

*~ 

"I miss him already and it hasn't been a minute since he's gone away." Buck said pouting and burying his face in the space between Eddie's neck and his shoulder. 

Christopher had left for Summer camp that morning and of course he was worried but he had to trust his son and try his best to believe that they could care for him as much as he and Buck did. 

"So are you saying I'm not enough mi amor?" Eddie asked his boyfriend. 

It still felt so surreal to him that after so long they were more than just friends now and he had to admit he was so happy with that evolution. 

"You're more than enough sweetheart, he just happens to be my favorite Diaz." Buck said grinning at him and Eddie playfully shoving him away, making Buck burst into laughter. 

He looked at the card his son made for him and smiled and Buck was back at his side, 

"Yeah, we'll be just fine. I'll take good care of you." Buck smiled so softly, so pure that Eddie thought he could die and be happy with it, as he pressed his a kiss on his cheek. 

That was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you did like it kudos and comments are well appreciated <3


End file.
